Fapril Dool's Ay?

This used to be my favourite day of the year. My very first prank was dying a 2L carton of milk green (which subsequently had to be thrown out). Classic high school pranks included carefully lining the Physics teacher's desk drawer with plastic and filling it to the brim with coffee, and creating an intricate web of string in Biology class all lunch hour, guiding all the students through it to their desks and awaiting the teacher in quiet anticipation.

It pisses me off that I'm too tired to prepare anything clever, either at home or at work. My hapless victims are spared from my devious mind for another year! And another... and another... probably until my daughter's in high school. Ah, well.

Instead, for your reading enjoyment, I will start a tradition. I bought myself a "Forgotten English" desk calendar this year, and I will regale my legions of fans with either a new word or a forgotten celebration every day that I remember.

Today:
"Into the 20th century, it was common to make fools of apprentices by sending them on imaginary errands. Examples included sending naval recruits to retrieve the key to the "starboard watch" or to "Davy Jones' locker". Their counterparts in the army were sent to bring back a "firing line" or a "bucket of recoil". You printers were sent to look for "italic periods," a "paper-stretcher" or bottles of striped ink. Veteran tailors suddenyl needed a dozen button-holes, and an electrician would complain that his wires were too long and send his apprentice for "short circuits". Even bankers would send an office boy out for white carbon paper, naughts for the adding machine or an "interest table".