Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Too cute for words.




OK, so a daughter of mine shouldn't be shot forehead-first, but that is an awfully cute smile. Devil? Angel? Both. I couldn't resist a Walking Update, either. I'll try harder next time.

Jobs o' the Past

Tee hee - couldn't resist reporting a few of the professions in 1889's British census:
Maker of sand views
Invisible net maker
Colourist of artificial fish
Knight of the Thimble
Disinfector of railways
Electric bath attendant
Scarecrow
Drowner
Fish-bender
Running about
Grape-dryer

I wonder how much an invisible net maker takes home after taxes.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

A rebuttal

So the ex-Jehovah's Witnesses piece in Vue was smokin', and I received kudos from the interviewees, fellow writers, friends and family. I'm pretty proud of it, but scanned the Letters to the Editor for the inevitable. This week, one of the longest Letters I'd ever seen ripped me a new one! I decided I would use this environment of pure self-indulgence to rebut.

The essence of the tirade was that I had a number of my facts wrong, neglected to address the wonderful things that Witnesses do and merely contributed to increasing hate and violence in the world. The writer claims legitimacy by saying she was disfellowshipped after being raised a Witness and leaving to research other religions in her 20's. After doing all her research, she "can say that there is no other religion that stands by what the Bible teaches, doesn't conform to society's peer pressure to change Bible guidelines into what suits them, actually enforces its rules, and gives people hope for the future that's positive."

During my research for this piece, I read that exact quote in a Watchtower publication.

It's nice that I got people thinking about the religion, but that was never my intent. I was interviewing people who had left - their impressions, their memories, and the difficulties they had adjusting. I tried very hard not to pass judgement on the organization, but let the subjects speak freely.

My interviews were full of references to people who tried to leave, then returned after being unable to be completely cut off from everyone and everything they had ever known. I'm not suggesting that the Letter writer experienced this.

And now, the rebuttal:
1. "Witnesses do use the Bible - any translation..." Every Christian splinter sect does as their root. But only the Witnesses produce reams and reams of "interpretation" literature to help their followers better understand. And the New World edition presents a whole bunch of interpretation masked as differences in translation.

2. "There is no minimum time requirement..." Not written down, there isn't. Organizations have a way to enforce social standards that aren't part of the written credo. The "Code Red" issue in A Few Good Men comes to mind.

3. "Leaders are overjoyed to explain the teachings..." Again, I had only the interviewee's word for his experience, but it echoed my own: I made two calls to Elders in Edmonton Kingdom Halls about the story. No reply. I heard that a coworker's friend had passed on the request to her Elder. It was forwarded to the JW Media Relations division in Ontario. No response. That doesn't sound like overjoyous explanation to me.

4. "JW's do not connect higher education with Satan..." The statement I wrote was corroborated by three separate interviewees.

5. "Bethany Hughes wasn't blind or in a wheelchair at the time of her death and her father was not denied contact with her." I relied on an eyewitness account and a sworn court affidavit over the word of the writer's (Jehovah's Witness) family friends. Whatever Bethany believed or not at the time of her death, I do not blame a father for trying to protect his daughter's life, or for suing the organization that he sees as responsible.

She closes by saying she won't read the magazine any more and a lot of her friends won't either. As much as I regret losing the readership, I think it's best if her and her group aren't exposed to any new ideas presented in Vue. Indeed, she's better off sheltered from any publications not produced by her Society. They might shatter her safe religious haven where everyone knows the Truth and nobody needs to read anything that purports a different opinion.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Bloggers of the World, Unite!

Take the MIT Weblog Survey

I heard them guys sure is smart over at MIT. Sure am happy to support 'em.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Fame. I wanna live forever.

We're running a "brushes with fame" issue for the staff newsletter, and you find out the weirdest stuff... My coworker chased Kareem Abdul Jabbar down an airport causeway. My boss not only met Heather Locklear, but she also had her own exercise show on cable access. As for me, I was on Hi-Q when Scaryman Sobel was host, plus was interviewed for the national Junior Achievement conference in 2001 by Lorraine Mansbridge. So no, I have had neither celebrity sightings nor my 15 minutes.

Mind you, I am a celebrated writer for a local arts weekly. Maybe that counts? (I use the term "celebrated," as in I celebrate every time I get paid and I celebrate whenever I land an ego-stroking cover piece.)

What is it about celebrity that turns people gooey? We follow these ridiculous legal battles with closer attention than our nation's foreign policy. "If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit!" and "Jesus Juice" mean more than Grewal or R-CALF. You met someone that I've heard of! AND you got their signature! Ohmigawd ohmigawd ohmigawd... [click]

Tom. Katie. Seriously, guys. You aren't fooling anyone, and you're making me nauseated. Please stop. Katie, give me a call if you need some deprogramming.

Serendipitously, your Forgotten English of the Day: "whillywha"
A wheedling or insinuating person; a flattering deceiver. To take in or persuade by flattery.
Now there's a word that deserves to come back into fashion... Perhaps replace the name of "P.R. Practitioner" with "Master o' Whillywha". I'd put it on my business cards!

In other news, Father's Day went well - although without the sleep-in or breakfast in bed I'd been hoping. We saw my wife's father, and my own travelled across the country from Dauphin, Manitoba! I saw my dad for the first Father's Day since I was three. (Mind you, he came up to see his granddaughter, but I'll take it.)

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

He's Bad.

Although the radio announcer made a good point on M.J. - he's screwier than they come, but it's not like he's hanging out in parks, waiting to touch little boys. Parents actually hand over their kids to spend time with him at the Neverland Ranch. So defective-wax-sculpture-dude bears maybe 80% of the responsibility. I don't think that parents should get off scott free (let alone be rewarded) for pimping their kids out to His Freakness.

Anyway, that was a spectacularly dull media frenzy. I just can't get my blood boiling over entertainment figures - I mean, who cares if OJ killed his wife? But start talkin' about Liberal money-laundering where I can't get my hands on the dough, and I'm pissed!

I'm waiting a couple of days to pitch my freshly-returned-from-Europe editor on a couple of story ideas. I fired a brief note in to the Sun's city editor, so we'll see if anything comes of that. Unless, of course, anyone wants to buy the damn car that's been sitting on my mother's driveway for two months. I should just get off my butt and do something about it, but I can't actually squeeze out the time.

Instead, I sit here and blog. No, I can't see the irony.

Forgotten English of the Day: "bannock-hive"
When he who retains a good appetite complains of their health, it is sometimes sarcastically said that he seems to have the bannock-hive, from bannock (an oatcake) and hive, swelling.

Monday, June 13, 2005

1001 Sensations

I'm a little excited today. It's miserable outside, but the butterflies trapped in my soul are fluttering prettily.

For one, I've heard nothing about the Manor Cafe burning down, so I'm probably not cursed. The Pyrogy House was an aberration of the psychotic firebug running around town, not the result of a tepidly positive review.

Two, The ex-Jehovah's Witnesses piece came out largely untouched by the editor's pen. I've had positive response from the interviewees and I'm pretty damn proud of the piece. Hopefully, I won't receive many death threats.

Three, I'm filing another slightly bizarre food review type thing for this week's issue and I'm interested to see how it turns out. We went out and found "synergy snacks" - improbable combinations of brands or products where one of the contributing elements is represented ONLY chemically. Thus, s'more-flavoured pudding had no s'mores in it.
It was a fun experiment, and those Swoops are damn good, but I hadn't eaten so much junk food in a long time so I was feeling the effects of that.

Four, we hooked up with a friend who runs NAITsa's communications over the weekend. We hadn't seen her in a while, and she was very pleasant to hang with. She was a friend of my wife's in junior high, the three of us lived together for a while, and she's in my industry - good to talk to. Could be hints of work later on, and she encouraged me to drop a portfolio in to the Sun. Who knows? If I keep freelancing, will someone offer me a luxuriously full-time job writing?

I'll wait for you to finish laughing.

Five, that little girl of ours just keeps growing every day. She has about six words down pat and the biggest, most heart-melting smile you've ever seen. Her mother made me a Father's Day scrapbook over the weekend, and it is simply exquisite.

So, like I said, I'm a little excited. The car is (more-or-less) repaired from our accident on April 15th, and so is my back (more-or-less). My dad is coming out for the first Father's Day I have spent with him in nearly 30 years, but that's probably because of his new granddaughter. All I have to do is slam a few grand into my bank account, and life will be stable and good.

I wonder if the Sun pays well?

Your Forgotten English of the Day: "glonders"
In the glonders, in a state of ill humour, to be pouting.
I'm not!

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

OK, yes, I'm busy...

... but that doesn't excuse my absence. I'm letting down my thousands of loyal fans who tune in, expecting to see pages of pithy commentary about broccoli. Not that I have ever posted about broccoli, but that's neither here nor there. Or in here, for that matter.

I'm on tenterhooks this morning - my exJW article comes out tomorrow! I wrote 2500 words on the challenges people have faced reintegrating into society after leaving the Jehovah's Witnesses, and I could have kept going... There are some pretty messed up people kickin' around this planet, y'know? And for some reason they seem to want to inflict their madness on others.

For the interviewees that spoke to me, thank you. Best of luck to you in whatever you do. Wish I could have spoken to someone from within the organization, but none of my contacts came through. I wonder why they didn't want to speak to "the media?" (I love referring to myself as "the media" - feel that rush of legitimacy!)

Went to Churros King on Whyte last night for a review - wahoo! Dicenzo (the last guy who held this Dish gig for a long time) loved the place, and I'd been there a couple of times. Tried some new things on the menu and well worth writing home about. Without drinks, we dropped $30 including a generous tip... We're also doing something a little odd by reviewing products that were the obvious result of a marketing synergy meeting. S'more-flavoured pudding, Cinnabon popcorn, Reese cereal... There are some pretty friggin' scary treats out there!

I got a little shiver down my spine on last week's review, though - the piece was published, then four days later, the Pyrogy House burned down. A word of advice to the owner of Manor Cafe: keep an eye on your place this weekend, eh? I don't want to be held responsible.

Politics... Liberals... Grewal...

Check this out: my Forgotten English desk calendar painted quite the picture the other day. Under the definition of "waistcoateer," a strumpet who wears a tight waistcoat, was the following item:
On this date in 1790, the English three-master Lady Julianna dropped anchor at Sydney Cove, New South Wales, ending an eleven-month, 13,000-mile journey that had begun in Portsmouth. The ship's remarkable cargo included 200 women, ranging in age from eleven to sixty-eightm and their young children - some of which had been born en route.
The women had been accused of various crimes - mostly petty theft and prostitution - and many were carnally paired with crew members as well as forced to receive johns in various ports-of-call.

Wow. A floating brothel, screwing its way around the world. If Hollywood caught wind of this story, they would be all over it. Mind you, they would have to end up with the women taking over the boat in some "fight for your own redemption" kind of twist starring Halle Berry or something, but the image is pretty staggering.